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March 3, 2020

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly of Traveling in Pain

With everything we do in life there is the good, the bad and the ugly.

Traveling for most people is pretty standard. We pack, go to the airport, check our luggage in, go through security, walk around and wait to get on the plane.

That is just the first part.

Then we sit on the plane from anywhere from 45 minutes to hours on end and once in a while we have stop overs.

Then we get off the plane, pray our suitcase isn’t lost and go to wherever we are going to be staying. Don’t forget we have to do it all over again at the end of our trip.

Sounds pretty exhausting for anyone, right?

Right, but just think about having to do all of this while in massive amounts of pain. Just sitting on a plane for a few hours or driving an hour I’m ready to rip my body parts out of place.

I recently went on a cruise for a week and I learned a little more about the good, the bad and the ugly of traveling in pain.

The Good: Getting to Get Out Of Town

My favorite part of going on vacation is usually just being able to get away from everyday life. Hopefully it’s some place warm and the sun is shining.

The cruise for me was a much needed getaway with doing nothing, but relaxing by the pool, reading and just having fun. We didnt have a worry in the world and because I was able to relax I noticed my pain wasn’t always off the charts.

Being able to get away is always the best thing for anyone because can you imagine staying in the status quo constantly 24/7. Everyone needs some TLC and sunshine.

The good is relaxing by the beach and doing what makes you happy

The Bad: The Travel Days, The Lifting Heavy Luggage

With the good there always comes the bad. As much fun as getting away to relax is, it can be equally exhausting. Travel days are the worst for me because I hate the sitting around, worrying about everything going smoothly, eating the crappy airplane food and all of the heavy lifting we have to do.

Travel days when we are going somewhere aren’t as bad because you at least get to look forward to relaxing. When traveling home most times it is worse because you know you are going back to everyday life.

After these times I typically need a day or two of recovery, which can put you back even more.

Unfourtunately if you love to travel you will have no choice, but to endure the bad with the good.

With the good comes the bad. This picture was after the plane ride on our way to Florida

The Ugly: Going From One Temperature to Another

We have talked about the good with traveling and the bad. Now we are going to talk about the ugly. The worst part for me is when I am going from two different climates.

The cruise was warm and sunny. I had to come back to the cold and gloomy. The minute I was back in the cold my body started acting up. It took everything I had in me not to turn right back around.

The most important lesson I have learned with my pain and traveling is to go in the same weather so there isn’t such a drastic change. Even though I like to get away in the cold it ends up doing more harm than good.

I like going in May or June as it is warm out here in Michigan and wherever I am going in the Carribean or pretty much all over the US. Not only is it better for my pain, but my mental state as well.

February 18, 2020

Love Yourself and Learn How to be Number 1

The love we give ourselves is the most important love we can give. Life is stressful enough, but especially when you are constantly in pain. Our whole lives we are being told that we need to love ourselves before we can love someone else. I don’t know about you, but I used to roll my eyes at that thinking loving someone else will help me to love myself.

The truth is they are right and wrong.

This sentiment is right in the sense of it’s important to love yourself and know who you are before you can have a deep relationship, but what if we fall out of love with ourselves? Does that mean we have go back to being alone?

Trying to Love Myself While Struggling

For a while I struggled to find myself, but I eventually started to feel proud of who I was and what I had accomplished. Once that started I eventually found myself dating my boyfriend. I realized it was because I was happy with myself and at a point in my life I was ready to love someone else.

As I started to get sicker from my car accident I started to lose myself again. I constantly felt like a horrible girlfriend and friend because I hated myself for not being able to do what everyone else my age was doing. I had to leave a job and basically be home day in and day out because I could barely move or function. I continuously went through the grieving process of who I thought I was supposed to be. After going back to work I started to feel better about myself because I was finally making money, but the truth was I wasn’t happy. I still felt like a waste of a human.

Each of these photos were points that I struggled to love myself

Helping Others Helped Me to Love Myself

I have always loved to write and decided to start my blog all about dealing with chronic pain. It was very therapeutic for me to get my feelings out, but at the same time I was able to teach others about chronic pain. A few months later I started my podcast and public speaking and that is when everything changed.

I finally knew who I was supposed to be and being able to get my story out made me feel like I was doing something meaningful.

Lessons I Learned

During these couple of years, I learned a lot of hard lessons about what I could and couldn’t do because of my body. One of the most important lessons I learned was to listen to my body and knowing it’s okay to say no to things.

I learned that if I don’t listen to my body and over exert myself I will be way worse off. I learned my body can only handle working part-time and I learned that I have to be okay with it. Since I have become better at knowing my body I have been able to be more honest with myself and others on what I need especially in regards to my relationship, my work life and just my overall health.

There might be a time where I lose myself again. I am learning to be okay with it and being able to help myself to get through it.

I want everyone to know that none of us are perfect and that is okay. Life will sometimes happen when we least expect it and knowing who we are will help navigate the craziness. We may not know each other personally, but I hope that you know you are NOT alone and you will always have me at least.

January 28, 2020

Weather and Pain are a Serious Buzz Kill

Weather can be the greatest thing and it can be the worst all depending on the person. When the weather becomes cold it can become my worst nightmare.

Two Types of Bad Weather

Cold weather tends to give me goosebumps and with that comes excruciating pain. Goosebumps give me the feeling of wanting to rip my skin off and that is never fun for anyone.

When even the slightest cool breeze against your skin causes a pain flare:

When weather makes your pain worse
The mighty: via @dead.dreams.memes Instagram

The other type of weather that really gets me is the gloomy almost going to rain type weather. I start to get headaches when it is about to happen and I am exhausted and just overall feel like crap.

People tell me I should live in a warmer climate, which would, of course, help my pain with cold, but at the same time, it wouldn’t help me with my rain issue. Besides my family and friends are here in Michigan and it would be so hard for me to leave.

Elsa from Frozen didn't like the cold weather either
The Mighty via @freshsleeved Instagram

People Love to Feel Like They are Experts… Even Without Going Through It

Weather and pain are always going to be a battle for anyone, but especially for someone with chronic pain or illness. I have been told multiple times that weather doesnt effect my pain, but it usually isn’t from people who understand.

5 Things That Help Me Get Through The Rough Weather

I don’t typically know why we have to go through the fight of weather and pain. Not much has helped me, but the few things that have made it a tad more bearable have been.

  • My Comfy
  • Heated blanket
  • Hot drinks
  • Reading

I want you to know that you know yourself and how your body reacts to situations better than anyone. I wish I had real answers to figure out to change it, but to be honest I don’t. I am always trying to figure different ways out and if anyone reading this knows I would be happy to try them.

Life is hard enough without having something as simple as weather affect someone so drastically.

*** Disclamiers affiliate links have been used and you can read my private policy

January 21, 2020

4 Beauty Routine Tips For Invisible Illness Warriors

Beauty and fashion can be one of the few ways that we can set ourselves apart. What happens when that is suddenly taken away from us.

Maybe you are someone who is up on all of the fashion trends?

Maybe you are someone who is doing your makeup and hair full out everyday?

Maybe you are someone in between the above two options?

Regardless of what you consider yourself it’s a part of who you are.

Like I mentioned earlier, what would you do if that was taken from you, or had to be changed drastically?

As most of you know I have Central Pain Syndrome, which is a neurological disorder due to damage to the brain, brain-stem, or spine. The nerves in my brain don’t work properly. Certain types of touch such as wearing tight pants and any kind of pressure can give me bruises.

I used to be the one who loved to get dolled up. I wore jeans and leggings constantly with cute tops. Now after having CPS for the last few years, I can no longer wear leggings. Jeans are typically for a short amount of time and have to be stretchy. Most times while I am doing my hair and make-up I want to cry because of the burning sensation in my arms from the movement or it just exhausts me.

I have talked to so many others who suffer from invisible illnesses that go through the same things that I do and it can be detrimental to our mental health.

I have come up with a few tips and tricks that i have learned along the way.

Beauty Tip 1: Less is More

I have learned that if you can limit your beauty routine to the basics it will help you to save your energy and you can still look like you tried. I typically put on Foundation, blush and depending on the day I will put eyeliner and shadow. For the most part, it takes me 5 minutes and I feel good about myself all the same. Some of my favorite products include Clinique liquid foundation, Mac blush, Mary Kay eyeliner and I just started using a new eyeshadow palette.

This is my  beauty routine and what I use everyday

Beauty Tip 2: Save Your Spoons For Special Occasions

Similar to what I mentioned in tip #1 it is better to do less when possible. There will always be times when we have to go all out with our make up and hair. I know from experience if I had to go all out every day with some days having to do it more than once I wouldn’t be able to do much after tha. It’s also good for your skin not to cake on a bunch of makeup every day. I love nights that I do go out and put more make up on because I feel like I am ready to take on the world.

Besides make up, hair is another big part when it comes to getting ready. Even more so than my makeup, my hair is what makes me miserable. I used to have long hair and at one point i was tired of taking the time to do it everyday. I decided to make it shorter. It was the best decision I ever made. Most days I either quickly go over it with my straightener or I use one of my many accessories to look cute and not add to my pain.

Beauty Tip 3: Have Someone Help You

This isn’t always easy or available to you, but if you have the chance to have someone help you I highly recommend it. Before anyone freaks out I don’t mean a stylist or makeup artist. I just mean another set of hands so you don’t have to. There are so many times I will have my mom help me, or if I am with a friend they will help out with my hair. It saves us many “spoons” and it might even turn out better than you planned from having another set of hands doing spots you can’t.

If you are reading this as someone who knows someone with an invisible illness you could also take charge and help them with their hair or makeup. Sometimes we don’t want to ask for help because we feel that we have to do this on our own to feel whole.

Beauty Tip 4: Use Accessories

My last tip and i partly mentioned this above, but I love accessories. I wear cute hats, headbands or even just throwing my hair up in a messy bun to not have to bother. These are such easy ways to be cute, but comfortable at the same time and they won’t take hours to do.

I love doing small braids and tying them, I wear beanies a lot and baseball caps with sayings. When I have to go somewhere nicer I will take the time to really do my hair. I also typically shower at night and let me hair dry on its own most days. If I shower earlier in the day I make sure to give myself a lot of time to be able to give myself a break in between.

There are so many ways to be able to make yourself look and feel good without over doing it and hurting for days. I hope some of these helped and if you have others feel free to share them in the comments below.

These hats can be some of the best beauty accessories I have ever used
Love these hats from Express and Vineyard Vines

**Some of the links in here are affiliate links and I may earn compensation if you buy something from the link, but it won’t affect you.

With Love,

Alexa

January 14, 2020

5 Traveling Secrets For Invisible Illness Warriors

**This post contains affiliate links where I will receive a small commission if you make a purchase, after clicking the link. All opinions are my own and I only talk about products that I recommend. To learn more check out my privacy policy

Traveling can be a struggle for anyone, but especially for someone who is constantly in pain. I know, I have been there. That doesn’t mean it isn’t possible it just means it’s going to take more strategy. Don’t worry though I have your back and I am here to report some tips that have worked for me.

1. Pack Light

Whether you are traveling near or far it’s always best to pack as light as possible. The less you have to carry the better it is for you. If you are traveling with others you could always see if you could put a few things in their bags to lighten the load.

When it comes to carry-on bags you will want to only pack the necessities. My go-to’s are my medications, my kindle, a snack, and any valuables that I don’t want in my suitcase. I have noticed that backpacks are a great option to use as it evenly distributes the weight.

Another option for those who don’t want to carry a heavy backpack would be a small rolling suitcase.

Just be careful not to trip 🙂

Traveling with a Buddy

So many times we have to unfourtnately travel alone, but when we are able to go with someone it’s always so much more relaxed. There have been plenty of times that I have an extra rough flare up due to doing too much and I always appreciate when I can have someone to help me.

Traveling with family can be so helpful

Plan ahead

The best advice I can think of is to plan as much of your trip ahead as possible. A few possible ways to do this are to get an aisle seat, get wheelchair assistance if needed and bring proper clothing.

If you are traveling by plane and typically have to get up to move around a lot a window seat might be your best friend. For anyone who feels like they need to stay seated more you may want a window seat to not have to get up for other people. It is really all about what suits your needs.

We all know how big airports are. If you are someone who has trouble walking it might be smart to book wheelchair service when you book your flight.

Knowing what is ahead can be so helpful when it comes to packing your carry-on, luggage, and medications. For instance, if you are typically cold you might want to layer up for the plane ride because nothing is worse than being uncomfortable for long rides.

Lastly, when it comes to planning ahead, ALWAYS and I mean ALWAYS wear and bring comfortable shoes. I can’t emphasize how important your comfort is.

Spend a little more for better seats

Most planes have seats really close together and no leg room. If you are someone who is either claustrophobic or just needs the space it might be more beneficial in the long run to spend more and get the better seats.

Traveling and Breaks are a Must

You have to adjust what you do with how your body is. I am that person who will overdo it on the days that I don’t feel as bad and end up suffering for days.

When traveling make sure to give yourself plenty of time to relax and decompress. It could be anything from reading to writing to watching a program as long as it is something you enjoy and you are relaxed.

Traveling and reading are the best
Reading and Lounging are my favorite to take breaks

These are just a few of the many traveling tips I have figured out along the way and there will be plenty more as I continue to travel.

With Love,

Alexa xo

About Me

AvatarI am the author of With Love, Ella, and Daniel, Ever After. I am also the voice behind the blog and podcast called With Love Alexa. I created my brand after a traumatic brain injury caused me to have chronic pain and suffer in silence. I want to be the voice for those who can't advocate for themselves.

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